Stella

THIRTY SOMETHING by Ishi Dinim

Life as I know it will never be the same. My heart has been broken open and filled up with new love. I’m the elated father of a sweet baby girl. I’ve lost track of time and the outside world, and I’m happier for it. This whole experience continues to confirm that magic is real and exists in our lives.

I think being a parent is making me become more patient and compassionate. I’ve starting seeing each person as someone’s precious little one. I find myself staring at strangers, wondering what their life has been like, who their parents were, and what their relationship was/is like. I was having a coffee with my friend last week and he said, “You know that feeling that you’re having? Can you imagine if everyone had a baby at the same time? There wouldn’t be anybody left to fight a war, they’d all be loving their new babies and excited for the other people going through the same thing.”

My wife told me an interesting anecdote that my mom had told her. It was something along the lines that people who are parents are far less likely to become the perpetrator of a violent crime. I can’t throw any fancy stats to verify that comment, but those who share the feelings that are coming to me these days probably agree that once you make a life it would be a lot harder to take one.

Making a baby isn’t an option for everybody but there are plenty of children to adopt or connect with. In my love drunkenness I’m still lucid enough to concede that maybe parenting for peace might not work. However the extremely strong connection that a new parent feels could be something to draw on. We lack connection in modern cultures; we’re really plugged-in but rarely meaningfully joined to anything life affirming. Make a choice to bond and grow with your baby whatever that looks like for you.

I remember, at some point in the process, the rush I got when I committed to making a life-long choice, the very first truly all-in moment in my thirty years. The old cliché that every parent tells people, that having their child was the best thing they ever did, is true. I know that whatever may come in life I am a success and I’ve found a purpose greater than myself.

Cinema:
The Fall
Wordplay
Style Wars
Fela: Music is the Weapon

Ishi graduated from Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design in 2001, with a BFA. He makes films, collects cacti, and ponders many things. Currently he is doing what he can for himself, his family and the planet. contact: ishi@yahoo.ca

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