by Gwen Randall-Young
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. – Albert Einstein
I had an interesting experience recently that got me thinking about honesty and integrity. I called a local nail salon late afternoon on a Saturday to make a Sunday appointment. I was actually trying to google the number of my regular salon when this new one popped up. It was a little closer to home so I thought I would give it a try as the web page looked pretty good.
I booked the appointment and the lady called me right back. She asked me to bring cash explaining, “My bank is closed on Sunday.” Of course I was puzzled and did not want to make an extra trip to a banking machine. I told her I did not have cash and she said,” Okay this time, but next time bring cash.”
When I arrived the next day, she was very friendly and put a lot of energy into promoting her business. She had just finished doing pedicures for a young couple in a long-distance relationship. He was returning to the US later in the day and his girlfriend had treated him to his first ever pedicure. She wanted to do something nice on his last day here.
When they went to pay, she said “cash only.” The woman did not have the cash and became quite flustered. She offered her Mastercard only to be told they don’t take Mastercard. In the end, the guy ended up paying with his Visa while the woman assured him she would pay him back. It was a very awkward ending to what was meant to be a special time.
I felt very uncomfortable witnessing this. Then, with a bright smile, she came to me and began my pedicure. She explained why her salon was different from others and how she was so much more conscientious about keeping nails healthy. In fact, she did an excellent job. So good, in fact, that I thought of switching salons. When it came time to pay, she accepted my Visa, but reminded me, “Next time cash.”
As I returned home, something weighed heavily on my mind. Each time I looked at my lovely nails, I could only think of how she lied to me right from the start. I thought about how bubbly the woman was about treating her boyfriend and how the whole cash business soured their experience.
I won’t be going back. I wonder how many others have never returned having seen or sensed this side, which is ego driven and out of integrity.
Years ago, I knew a woman who was into online dating. She was in her late forties or early fifties. She was beautiful, intelligent and good company. She looked somewhat younger than her years so she posted her age as somewhat less that her actual age.
She may have shaved off a bit too much because the man asked her how old she really was. When she told him, the first date was over. He said, “If you lied to me about that, what else will you lie about?”
Both women lost out on opportunities that could have been good in the long run. Perhaps people think others cannot see through their lies. Even if they are fooled, the relationship is still based on lies. If we lie to another, we are disrespecting them and ourselves. A lie is a manipulation of another to serve our own ends. It can never be a win/win. It is always a lose/lose.
Gwen Randall-Young is an author and psychotherapist in private practice. For articles and information about her books, “Deep Powerful Change” hypnosis CDs and “Creating Effective Relationships” series, visit www.gwen.ca ‘Like’ Gwen on Facebook for daily inspiration.