Be someone’s valentine all year


by Larry James


To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and love. Let’s all give some thought about who we are being in our relationship, what we can do to make them better and who we will have to become to have them be healthy and successful. Let’s make every day Valentine’s Day for our partner.

V for Validate: Your relationship with your partner must be an equal partnership, one that mutually supports each other in their dreams and visions of what is best for one another. Make it a point to let your partner know that you value their opinions, ideas and especially their feelings.

A for Attention: Paying attention to the little things is not always easy. It takes practice and is one of the most important aspects of a successful and healthy love relationship. It is the little things that count. If left to simmer without attention, eventually they may erupt into major conflict.

L for Love: Be consistent in expressing your love for your partner in “words” and deeds. While the gift of a rose, a box of chocolates or a special greeting card is an expression of love, it is important for your love partner to hear the words, “I love you” at least once each day.

E for Enjoy: Make the best of being together. Be present when in the presence of your partner. Enjoy each precious moment. Couples who enjoy each other’s company are happier and more satisfied with their relationship. Do fun things. Go fun places. Place a high priority on enjoying life together.

N for Nurture: To nurture is to nourish. Nourish one another with love. Encourage each other to openly communicate your needs. Accept your partner for who they are and support them in their individual needs and endeavours. Offer understanding by being an attentive listener. Acknowledge your partner’s goodness!

T for Time: Spend “quality” time together. Make a promise to have a date with your mate no less than once each week. No excuses, please! Pretend you are on your very first date. Reminisce. Hold hands. Make eye contact. Talk. Really listen. Focus on your partner. Make each moment you are together count.

I for Intention: We usually get what we place our intention upon. Synergize your intentions on what you want, never on what you do not want. The combined effect of two partners working together on similar things is much greater than the sum of individual effects. Highlight your intentions to one another and concentrate on the specifics of those intentions.

N for Needs: We all have individual needs: to be loved, accepted, understood, trusted, respected, appreciated, encouraged and the list goes on. Acknowledging our needs and the needs of our love partner gives purpose to the relationship. Learn to express your needs in ways your partner can listen to and understand. Erich Fromm once said, “Immature love says, ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says, ‘I need you because I love you.’”

E for Energize: Breathe new life into your relationship each day by consistently focusing on new ideas that keeps the fire of love burning. Partners feel energized when both are dancing to the same tune.

To describe love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavour of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavour. So with love. –Paramahansa Yogananada

Copyright © 2011 Larry James. Reprinted with permission. Adapted from Larry’s books, How to Really Love the One You’re With, LoveNotes for Loversand Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers. Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry’s free monthly LoveNotes for Lovers eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. Email Larry James via

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