No ego, no anxiety

UNIVERSE WITHIN by Gwen Randall-Young

If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. – Deepak Chopra

Increasing numbers of people suffer from anxiety or chronic worry and while there is sometimes a biological component and medications can be helpful, the real issue comes down to controlling one’s thoughts.

Most anxiety and worry come from thinking about the future or agonizing about the past. This is different from the anxiety one might feel sitting in a dentist’s chair or driving on slippery roads, however. That anxiety is quite normal because one feels threatened by a real situation.

It becomes unproductive when we start thinking about the future and what might happen. For example, when a thunderstorm begins, one could worry about one’s house being hit by lightning. The mind might then go to the thought that it might hail and if the hailstones are really big they might break the skylights. Then the water would come in and make a big mess. Ramping it up a little, visions of a tornado enter one’s consciousness. Then it’s all about what if I die or what if my house is destroyed? Where will I live and how will I work? In minutes, the mind has taken us from a mild thunderstorm to death and destruction.

Of course, it is the ego-mind orchestrating all of this catastrophizing. Ego is so wrapped up in itself that it constantly scans the horizon to see if anything is lurking that might interfere with its need to control. Like the over-anxious mother who so fears losing her child that she sees potential danger in every possible experience, ego likes to warn us about all that could possibly go wrong.

This keeps us off-balance and much more focused on survival and protection than on freedom and growth. Some can spend a lifetime contracted in fear, with all of life’s precious, present moments sucked into the black hole of “what if?”

There is a way out. It is impossible to be in the present moment and in the future at the same time. If we can keep our attention focused upon the present moment, we could be quite relaxed. This is why people can relax on a tropical beach; they have left their entire world behind.

We must learn to do this without having to travel to far-off places. We need to learn to control our thoughts and keep them focused on the present or, at least, on positive things. We can start with thought stopping: when we find ourselves slipping into worry mode, we can imagine a large STOP sign and immediately switch the topic of our thoughts. It is much like using the remote to change the channel.

For many, the idea of being able to control one’s thoughts might seem strange because they seem to come of their own free will and leave only when they are ready. Yet if we were talking about unexpected houseguests, we would quickly set boundaries and while it does require a lot of practice, we can do the same with our thoughts.

We can also make a conscious effort to replace negative ego thoughts with empowered higher-self thoughts. We can visualize the storm passing quickly without causing any damage. We can just as easily imagine positive outcomes as negative ones.

How we think determines, in large measure, how we feel. If we allow ego to scare us, to put us into a scarcity mentality or make us feel weak and vulnerable, we cannot possibly feel good. It then becomes even more difficult to do the things that might help us feel better.

Imagine being a marathon runner. Ego is behind you, trying to trip you or stop you. You are strong and determined. You burst forth, thinking how wonderful it will feel at the finish line. You enjoy the feel of your body’s strength, the camaraderie of the other runners and the beautiful scenery. Before you know it, you have left ego languishing in the dust.

Gwen Randall-Young is a psychotherapist in private practice and author ofGrowing Into Soul: The Next Step in Human Evolution. For more articles, permission to reprint and information about her books and “Deep Powerful Change” personal growth/hypnosis CDs, visit www.gwen.ca